Watts in a name…no it's what's in a name…I think.

by Jim Sorensen

The List-Serve crew is busily posting in reply to a question about a non-hardening acoustical putty lovingly referred to as “pookie” by no less notable than the redoubtable Russ Berger…pretty much settling the issue, one would suppose…but I raise the question of what’s in a name?

One the one hand, I submit that “pookie” in Russ’s note is simply a bastardization of the more formal case “puckey” or “pucky” which is a derivative, a shortened if you will, form of “acumpucky.”  On the other hand, In spite of that, those who have seen the movie Victor-Victoria will immediately recognize that the term “pookie” is actually French for James Garner.

On yet another hand, “Acumpucky” has come down to us from Middle English when the phrase “Aw (or “Oh”) come putty this (or “these”)” was used widely by really bad carpenters which was most carpenters in the time when Middle English was spoken.  “Putty” can be mispronounced as “pucky” if you speak and spit through missing teeth at the same time.  After all, dental plans had not been introduced yet and, remember, this was shortly after the “Wood Age” when man developed primative tools and began playing music in saloons on Saturday night and just at the beginning of the “Iron Age” when people started wearing pressed cloths.   The “Iron Age” ended sometime in the 1960’s when some people went back to a more “natural” look and prisoners were cleaner and dressed more attractively.

Who can forget Junior English when we read Geoffrey Chaucer’s famous “T’was brillig and the slivey Tove did gyre and gomble in the wabe?” or whatever it was he wrote, I could never figure it out.  Maybe it was something about someone named “Marche” (Hal1 or Hal 2?) “pierthing” someone named “Aprille” which sounds like a perfect opportunity for some sort of lawsuit.  No one I know could understand it so what does it matter?  (If Hal March, Jr. married Tuesday Weld would she become Tuesday March the Second?  That’s actually my wife’s birthday so if Tuesday Weld is my wife’s birthday this promises to be a very interesting evening!)

But I digress…the Middle English carpenters, not at all related to the late Karen or current Richard, were noted for using “putty” to fix mistakes in their work and since the table saw had not yet been invented who can blame them?  Since the invention of the table saw we have seen a tremendous decrease in sales of “Acumpucky” and an upsurge in the sales of band-aids.  And slings.

That said it seems to me that if we are to be accurate in our thinking we must include the notion that we can use Russ’s “acumpucky” or “pookie” as he calls it to stick Middle English carpenters to walls as a diffuser and, since Russ recommends it, we can expect good results.  I don’t think we can stick Richard Carpenter to a wall…he’s booked solid through August.

Model studies using Middle English carpenters show good results but they vary if the mouths are open or closed.  This is the same effect we saw when using Holstein cows and is probably due to Helmholtz resonance or the Marconi Effect.

No.  That’s wrong.  It’s the Martini Effect, or the Martinus Effect if you only have one.

Keep it out of the red!